In your journey to finding true happiness and advancing into living a happy life there are some things that you need to add to your daily routine. You brush your teeth daily correct? You get dressed every day right? These things that I am suggesting can be done while you are getting ready in the morning or before you go to bed at night or both. I do my daily affirmations twice a day.
I look in the mirror and remind myself every day these three things.
1. What is my reason WHY? What is driving you towards wanting a better or different life? What lights your fire and gives you the motivation to be a better person, to dream bigger, and to make a difference in the world? For so long I did not know my purpose. I had a life filled full of traumas and I just wanted to survive. Dreaming was out of the question because it took energy I needed and I was scared to be let down like I had been so many times. Make sure when you write down your reason why that you are very clear so that when you remind yourself daily then it imprints in your brain and becomes a must have. For instance, my WHY is that I want to not only help others that are struggling with their self worth and confidence after trauma but I want to help my daughter, my step children always have the tools they need to tackle anything that life throws at them. That is my WHY. Help this generation and then next generation and many generations to come be unbreakable and unstoppable!
2. Discover what you like and dislike. Remind yourself every day to cling to the things that make you feel good and not the things that make you feel bad. Grab a piece of paper and write good/bad and really look deep inside yourself and be honest with yourself. Even down to the things that may seem petty to you. Self discovery is everything. You NEED to know what makes you happy and do more of those things and weed out the bad. There is so much healing that can be done in these discoveries.
3. Mindset training. Train your mind every day to think of the good and not the bad. When we hear a scary diagnosis and they say 1/5 people do not recover from this then that is all we hear. What we need to focus on is 4/5 do. I teach my daughter to find the good in the situation. When she gets in trouble for something she thinks her world is falling a part and she says you always are mad at me. I slow down her mind and say lets discuss this. When was the last time you were grounded or in trouble? She said last month. Exactly so you have been good for an entire month and you used to be in trouble once a week. Look at the progress that you have made. That releases the stress on her mind just by reminding her that she has been doing so good lately. Train your mind to see the good. It will ease your stress and allow you to see the bright side instead of the dark side.
These 3 things are so important on your journey to thriving. Self talk, self appreciation and self love are not selfish, they are necessary. If you are loving yourself then you will express more love to those around you. You will start to attract more love in your life and be one step closer to livin' a happy life.
Never Give Up!
Don't just live...Thrive!
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We have all gotten lost along the way, but we haven't all found our way back. Life throws us curve balls and knocks us off course and it is our job to navigate it and keep going. For a very long time, I fought so hard to be made of steel, to be able to survive anything, to be numb to the world so that it could not hurt me. When I was living that journey I closed off some of the greatest parts about life and I definitely lost who I was and who I wanted to be.
These are steps to help you get back on the right path so that you can enjoy life and know exactly who you are.
1. Make sense of your past so you can move forward- What does this mean? This step is for you to really dive into your past and wrap your head around the things that happened. There may be things that you are holding on to that affect you in a negative way and those things may not have anything to do with you as a person. I held on to some abuse that happened to me and I always felt like I was defective. I felt like there was something about me that caused the abuse or that I drew it into me. That was wrong and I know that now but it took me a long time to realize that there was no way to change the situation, that it was not me and when I made sense of it all then it was a relief. I made sense of the situation and realized that it was the another person that had issues, not me. If it wasn't me, they would have abused another. So when I stopped carrying the heavy load on myself and made sense of the situation that was out of my control, then I was able to heal, grow and truly find myself inside all of that internal turmoil.
2. Silence your inner critic because you can't grow with negativity tearing you down-We sometimes tend to be our worst enemy. I am the type of person that feels very deeply. If I do something wrong, there is no worst critic than me. While that may be good to have a conscious and to be self aware, we do not want to let it control us and prevent us from being the best version of ourselves. If we dream of running our own company or of climbing the corporate ladder to the top, then let ourselves dream! Do not let our inner critic ruin this journey for us. Silence it.
3. Think about what you want to have in the future-Live out your dreams! If you do not let yourself envision the future then where are you going? You will be stuck in the present with no direction. How are you supposed to really know what kind of person you are, what kind of person you want to be, and what kind of life you want to live if you don't have a vision of the future. Take the "grow up, go to college, get married, have kids" vision as an example. How are you going to know where you want to go to college? How are you going to know where you want to live? How are you going to know where you want to raise a family or even if you do want a family? I know that we can't control all aspects of our future and that we sometimes end up in a totally different place than we want to be, but sometimes we don't. My step daughter always said she was going to grow up and live in North Carolina and well, she made that happen. Moving across the US to a place that she envisioned her future being built showed a lot of self awareness and you have to find yourself and know yourself to do that.
Take some time to yourself and really deep dive into making sense of your past and letting go of all of the negative. Get rid of your inner critic and change your mindset. Use all of the wonderful positive things that you know about yourself to build the greatest version of you. Make the biggest and loudest voices in your head the positive ones!
"Never Give Up"
Don't just live...Thrive!
I have been down some paths in my life that I thought were right, at the time. One of those things was always being supportive and helping others with their dreams. While we want to be caring and supportive and help others, what we don't want to do is set our goals and our dreams aside just to help them. Take a look in the mirror and ask yourself...what do YOU want out of life?
If you only help others you could start to lose a sense of yourself along the way and that is something that will set you back. You need personal development and personal fulfillment in order to thrive.
Here is my advice to you:
1. Chase your dreams! When you fulfill your heart by going after your dreams then you can truly help others without hesitation. When you always help others and not yourself it will wear you down. You can even start to have resentment towards others or maybe just get tired of helping people all together. In order to be the best YOU that you can be, make sure you are fulfilling your needs within also.
2. Do you want to look back at the last 10 years and realize that you haven't gotten anywhere? I don't want that for you. Remember it isn't selfish to want to advance your knowledge, better your life and thrive! You just need to do it in a humble manner. The lesson though is to not put yourself on the back burner on simmer because eventually there won't be anything left in the pan to give.
3. If the big goals scare you, start with small ones. Is your dream to own your own business but scares you to even think about going after it? Start with baby steps. Start a side gig that works its way to bigger and bigger goals. If you are in sales then say hey I want to sell $1,000 a month and this is how. Totally doable. If you set a goal of wanting to sell $10,000 a month in the first month and no one even knows about your business yet then maybe you are setting yourself up for failure.
Start small, set goals, accomplish the goals, set bigger goals and so on but always, always, always make sure that you are doing whatever it is that you are doing, for you as well. Do not make all of these goals and accomplish them for other people until you have filled your cup first.
The cup can overflow with happiness and you can thrive but not if you are dying inside and neglecting yourself along the way.
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Never Give Up
Don't just live...Thrive!