Mending my soul ...
Have you ever felt like life was throwing you curveballs from as far back as you can remember? I have had trauma thrown my way since I was little. It created a very scarred, defensive, insecure, isolated, concrete of a person. I always struggled to try and be what everyone else wanted me to be. What would they like? How should I act to get them to like me? How should I act to protect myself so that they don’t hurt me? It appears as if my life was meant to be filled with trauma and I didn’t know why. Adulthood led to abuse from a Narcissist and that almost broke me, but I was a fighter. I have always had the “Never Give Up” frame of mind.
In the moments, I felt defeated, scared, and alone but something burning inside of me never let me do anything but continue to rise above. I held on to the pain and the anger as a justification for being made of concrete as to not get hurt again. That turned into making poor choices and being a person that I knew deep down that I didn’t want to be. Humiliation was a rock bottom for me. I am not that person, why would I act like that?
Then the medical issues started. Here we go again. I made it through childhood trauma, narcissist abuse in my marriage and now I am having auto immune issues? I felt like I couldn’t catch a break but then I remembered that I am and always will be, a fighter. Just as I did with the traumas, I will heal from them and I will not allow this to stop me from rising again! I am unbreakable, unstoppable and I am driven from my core to stand up and keep going.
I wanted to set a good example for my daughter. I wanted to show her that she can rise above anything that is thrown her way. Maybe that is why I went through the things that I did, so that I would be strong enough to help her through hers. Whatever the reasoning is, I made a vow to let my scars teach me and not hold me back. I have always known there was a better life out there for me, I just didn't know how to get it.
So, what did I do next?
I stood up; I made a plan! I decided I was not going to let trauma define me. I decided to turn those scars into steppingstones and use them as a learning tool to better myself, my life and my future. Then what did I decide to do? I took all of that hurt, all of that trauma and turned it into a way to help others. I heard someone say once, reach back into the fire and help those that are just like you. Be the person that you needed back when you were struggling. Create a light for others in their moments of darkness. So, I did.
I am helping to change the world for the better. I was stuck in that way of life for too long and I do not want others to do the same. It is scary to tell your story but how else can you truly help others if you don’t put yourself out there? I have created a system that can help you, the next generation and so many others.
What did I realize along the way? What I have created helps people in all aspects of their life. Maybe they haven’t even been through trauma, but the information can be used in many people’s lives and in many ways. Are you ready to go from just living, to thriving?
I had a new light enter my life that gave me the courage to be here with all of you and I want to touch your life in the way my life was touched. There is so many wonderful things in life that are not seen because of the wall we build around ourselves after trauma. Lets get started in breaking those walls down so we can truly enjoy life and thrive!
Mend your soul and let the sun shine through your smile!